Week 12: Broaden your critical friends network!
Leadership can be exhilarating, but let’s face it—it can also feel lonely. You’re tasked with leading a team, making tough decisions, and shouldering responsibilities that others may not fully understand. Some days are filled with challenges, while others bring incredible success. Yet, without a trusted network, there’s often no one to share your wins, let alone your lessons learned.
Does this sound familiar? If so, you’re not alone.
Many leaders rely on professional learning communities or alumni networks from their leadership programs. While networking is helpful, building a network of critical friends is transformative. These are the people who challenge you, encourage you, and push you to be the best version of yourself.
Last week, I had the privilege of hosting an inter-visitation for Assistant Principals at my school. Together, we explored our Academic Intervention Support (AIS) systems, observed classrooms, and debriefed our findings while analyzing AIS data. What struck me was how much we all shared in common—the same struggles, the same victories, and the same desire to improve. It was a powerful reminder of the value of connection.
In addition to this experience, a recent leadership program allowed me to meet incredible, like-minded leaders. These connections were a gift, but they also taught me a vital lesson: while I thrive on reflection and solitude—often journaling my thoughts with a cup of tea and a pastry—growth requires more than just looking inward. It requires a community of people willing to ask tough questions, offer honest feedback, and hold you accountable.
What Exactly Is a Critical Friend?
“…A critical friend is someone who is encouraging and supportive, but who also provides honest and often candid feedback that may be uncomfortable or difficult to hear. A critical friend is someone who agrees to speak truthfully, but constructively, about weaknesses, problems, and emotionally charged issues.”
— The Glossary of Education Reform
In other words, a critical friend isn’t just a colleague or peer—they’re someone who pushes you to see blind spots, challenges your assumptions, and celebrates your wins while helping you grow. They’re both your cheerleader and your toughest critic, and the results of this relationship are invaluable.
Why Does This Matter?
As leaders, we often focus on “getting the job done” without realizing how much better we could be with the right support. A network of critical friends offers:
Fresh Perspectives: Gain insights you might have overlooked.
Emotional Support: Share the load with people who truly understand.
Constructive Feedback: Identify areas for growth and actionable steps to improve.
This realization has inspired me to intentionally expand my critical friends network. I’m seeking diverse perspectives, deeper connections, and meaningful collaboration to enhance my leadership journey. And you can, too.
Action Steps for This Week:
Identify Your Current Network: Who are your critical friends? If your circle is small, now is the time to grow it.
Express Gratitude: Reach out to your critical friends and thank them for their support.
Reconnect or Build New Connections: Reach out to former colleagues, classmates, or even friends of friends to broaden your network.
Be Intentional: Schedule time to connect with these individuals regularly, whether it’s through a coffee chat, virtual meeting, or shared project.
As the holiday season begins, it’s the perfect opportunity to rekindle connections and start new ones. Let this be your week to embrace the power of collaboration. And with that, I will leave you with this: Leadership doesn’t have to be lonely.
Lesson #12:
Broaden your critical friends network. By broadening your critical friends network, you build a support system that not only fosters your growth but also enriches your leadership journey, making it more rewarding and connected. Together, we can ensure that leadership is not only impactful but also deeply connected and rewarding.
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Do you have any questions or would like to join the conversation? Reach out anytime! And while you're here, don’t miss out on Antiguan in America: A Racial Autobiography. Dive deeper into the journey of building your racial awareness and disrupting systemic inequities—Purchase your copy now. See you in the next post!
